Marchuary Days of the Week Ranked

Marchuary is the immeasurably shitty time of year that begins on Super Bowl Monday (the very worst day out of all 365) and lasts until St. Patties Day. Its cold out, football is over, and you start to have exams. But it mostly sucks more dick than Sidney Crosby because football is over. Luckily like most of you I'm still here at 4 year fantasy camp so there are still vices in which to overindulge. The Olympics are the only thing keeping me alive unless Crosby the butt pirate takes the gold right off Patty Kane's neck. That being said, some of the 7 days of the week are better than others.

                                           


7. Sunday
No football. Need sports. And Thursday is farther away than Crosby is from heterosexual (that was the last one I swear).

6. Tuesday
I'm gonna take some heat for this one but shut the fuck up and listen for a second. The majority of college students have an easier day on Tuesday/Thursday than Monday/Wednesday/Friday. So on Tuesday after class, you're probably stuck in the library with all Asians and you want to blow your brains out.

5. Monday
Tomorrow is an easy day. You can drink and stay up as late as you want watching Avatar.

4. Wednesday
The weekend is basically here. Workaholics is on, Arrow is on, and tomorrow is Thursday. Order wings and drink some malt liquor.

3. Thursday

Ok, now we're getting into the marathon of inebriation. Objectively, starting to drink like its the weekend on the day before the weekend actually starts makes negative sense, but its definitely my favorite college tradition.

Thursday is named after Thor (Thor's day); read a book peasants.




2. Saturday
Daylong. Make up an occasion and do it. Sports are pretty cool too.

1. Friday
Getting out of the last class on Friday is the best feeling you can have with your clothes on. Its like school is out for summer except summer is booze. Drinking on Thursday is great but you have that little voice in the back of your head talking about that quiz at 10:10 tomorrow so you hold back just a little. Friday is like The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin in a no holds barred cage match (Stone Cold would dominate for the record).

Rebecca Black knows

This was my first blog and the good news is that there are many more to come. Peace