Who said that? "Hawthorne"

My hiatus is no more, I know because we have so many avid fans this was a much anticipated return to the life of a professional college student. In honor of the greatest actor of all time being snubbed at the Oscars once again I am going to run down Leonardo Dicaprio's top 5 acting performances of all time. These will be based on his performance in the role rather than how amazing the movie was. Lets get going.

5. Teddy Daniels- Shutter Island: This is one of the craziest movies I have ever seen in my entire life, the ending is just so perfectly unsettling that you cannot help but stand up and applaud. Leo plays the disturbed US Marshall investigating the disappearance of a patient on the island of a psychological ward.  His performance is riveting and emotionally stimulated, and by the end the watcher truly feels for Teddy in his untimely demise into a psychotic state of Amnesia. Basically what I just said is by the end, you're sitting there with goldfish falling out of your mouth saying, "What the actual fuck?"

Notable quote: "Which would be worse - to live as a monster? Or to die as a good man?"

4. Jack Dawson- Titanic: This character while, is an amazing performance is on this list for one reason and one reason only, every woman in the world collectively overflowed with wetness from this.  He causes a Noah's ark level of poon juice to flow around the world during this role, and for that Leo you are just a goddamn legend.

Notable quote: "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!"

3. Jordan Belfort- The Wolf of Wall Street: Snub city, population Leo. Just a phenomenal role, played to absolute perfection by the sexiest man alive. Leo is the only person who could have pulled this role off, blow me McConaughey. His breaking of the fourth wall and calm narration, along with his electric character had me believing I could make 48 million dollars a year. His character just grasped me, and drew me into the movie. I do not believe that there has been a central character that truly makes the movie as amazing as it is besides Leo in this one.

Notable quote: "I will not die SOBER!"

2. Arnie Grape- What's Eating Gilbert Grape: Blown the fuck away, I laughed, I cried, I got extremely emotional.  Straight chills down my spine, while he is playing this mentally handicapped role.  I couldn't even handle it just amazing all around.  This proves Leo's versatility and all around acting chops, well done sir.

Notable quote: "I could go at anytime."

1. Billy Costigan- The Departed: This should come as no surprise to anyone, accompanied with the greatest movie ever made, comes Leonardo Dicaprio's greatest role.  William Costigan Jr. the anxiety ridden, undercover, and disturbed cop defines the legendary status that is Leonardo Dicaprio.  Everything about him in this screams perfection, no other person could have ever pulled off this role, I don't give a shit if Daniel Day-Lewis actually went undercover for 2 years and then filmed the role, it will never compare to what Leo does as Billy Costigan. He plays calm cool and collective in front of Jack Nicholson's diabolically hilarious character, and follows up showing the mental instability that comes with working as an undercover cop.  I'm recommending William Costigan for the Medal of Merit.

Notable Quotes (can't expect me to pick just one): "Maybe it would have done you some good to have some *questions* from time to time, you know? "Am I an asshole? Are my kids a mess? Is my wife a money-grubbing whore?" I mean, those are questions, right? "Have I ever been good to my dying sister or am I just now pretending to be?"

"All due respect Mr. Costello, school is out."

"Is there something that you just wanna go ahead and ask me? 'Cause I'll give you the fuckin' answer, all right? Frank, look at me. Look at me. I'm not the fuckin' rat. Okay? I'm not the fuckin' rat."

"Look... look, I'm having panic attacks, alright? The other night I thought I was having a fucking heart attack. I puked in a trash barrel on the way over here. I haven't slept for fucking weeks."

"Two pills? Great. Why don't you just give me a bottle of scotch and a handgun to blow my fucking head off! Are we done here with this psychiatry bullshit?"

"Aw, come on, you fucking moron. Come on. What, you want me to say it? Huh? I'm not a cop, alright? I'm your fucking cousin."

"I'm not a fucking cop!"

"Look at it this way: You're a black guy in Boston. You don't need any help from me to be completely fucked."

"What? So you can get the parade? The bagpipes and bullshit? Fuck you! Fuck you! I'm fucking arresting you!"

"You accuse me once, I put up with it. You accuse me twice... I quit. You pressure me to fear for my life and I will put a fucking bullet in your head as if you were anybody else. Okay?"

"You hear me, you two-faced faggot?"

"You sit there with a mass murderer. A mass murderer. Your heart rate is jacked, and your hand... steady. That's one thing I figured out about myself in prison. My hand does not shake... ever."